On Saturday December 14, 1991 the #1 ranked Duke Blue Devils took on the #21 ranked Michigan Wolverines in a preseason NCAA basketball game. Duke was coming off a National Title win over the Larry Johnson, Stacey Augmon led UNLV Runnin’ Rebels. They returned starters Christian Laettner, Grant Hill, Bobby Hurley and Trajon Langdon. The team was, by all accounts, college basketball royalty. Winning the national title again was almost preordained.
I was ten years old at the time.
It was Saturday morning.
I should have been watching cartoons.
But, when I flipped on CBS, I caught the pregame introduction that mentioned Michigan had one of the greatest incoming freshmen class of all-time. Three of them started. They showed a highlight of 6’ 10” center, Juwon Howard, tossing an alley oop to 6’ 10” power forward, Chris Webber, from the three point line. Webber was guarded by some lumbering white guy, who has no idea that he’s about to become a footnote in history. Howard effortlessly flips the ball towards the hoop like a middle school soccer player on a throw-in and Webber leaps off one leg, reaches a foot over the basket, palms the ball in midair and slams the ball home with a quiet ferocity while the defender turns around and stares up at the basket, completely in awe of what he just watched.
At that moment, I was in love.
(Rewatching the clip on YouTube, my favorite part is now listening to Jim Nantz and Billy Packer come to grips with the growing influence of African American basketball culture on their extremely Caucasian basketball world view. Nantz comments “You know through four games, this team is averaging over four dunks per game. They’re very exciting.” Nantz pauses after the word dunks like he just said a word in French and wondered if he’d pronounced it correctly. It’s adorable.)
What followed was one of the best college basketball games of all time. Michigan’s athleticism matched Duke’s poise and experience leading to a tie game with 28.5 seconds remaining. Duke’s Bobby Hurley held the ball at the top of the key, watching the seconds tick down. Hurley feigned a drive into the lane and launched a step back three for the win... only Jalen Rose soared up to deflect the shot. Chris Webber grabbed the ball, took one dribble and launched a three quarter court heave with no time remaining.
At ten years old, it felt like the ball hung in the air for an eternity.
My hopes and dreams soared along with that ball.
Sadly, my ten year old hopes and dreams bounced off the front of the rim along with that ball.
As they so often did, Duke won. In overtime. In a game that changed college basketball - and my own basketball life - forever.
Later that year, my Dad and I won his office NCAA pool because we picked #6 seeded Michigan to make the National Championship Game (and lose to Duke again). They made the game. They lost to Duke. And I became a fan of March Madness forever. I also became very accustomed to watching my favorite teams - and my NCAA tournament brackets - get this close to winning, while watching someone else cut down the net.
Thirty years later and I’m still searching for my second NCAA tournament pool win. I’m fully ready and expecting my annual three quarter court heave to bounce off the front of the rim, but I haven’t lost hope. If the Cubs can win the World Series than surely I can eventually win the JBorhood March Madness Extravaganza (aka the J.M.M.E or the Jimmy as we call it round these parts).
Right?
Anyone?
Bueller?
Blind, enduring hope aside, congratulations in advance to whoever assumes the role of the Duke Blue Devils and dashes my ever resilient childhood dreams once again. The real prize is the friendships we make along the way (and the mock awards I get to hand out).
Without further ado, allow me to present this year’s First Half Jimmy Award Winners.
The DVD Rewinder Award for worst idea while filling out a bracket: Keith (Keith’s Bracket) picking Norfolk State to win the tournament.
In what was either a sign that we owe Keith a belated congratulations for accepting the position of Athletic Director at Norfolk State or the hallmarks of a worrying Fear and Loathing style ether binge crying out for an intervention, Keith boldly picked #16 seed Norfolk State to not only become the second #16 seed to win a first round game in tournament history (against undefeated and top ranked Gonzaga, no less), but to win the entire tournament.
So either congratulations are in order... or someone really needs to check in on Keith.
The Betamax Award for the worst idea that wasn’t clearly fueled by an ether binge: Dad (Big3JDaddy’s Boys) for selecting #8 seed North Carolina to make the Sweet 16.
Betamax seemed like a great idea. Compact size. Higher quality video. Better sound. Unfortunately, the lack of business acumen at the Betamax Corporation led to VHS scoring deals with Hollywood production companies, meaning every cool video release came out on VHS and not Beta.
(They named their product beta... can they really be that surprised they came in second?)
Similarly, I understand what Dad was thinking. Historic program. Potentially light first round match up against a Big Ten afterthought in Wisconsin. Is it that crazy to see the Tar Heels in the Sweet 16? Just look at Syracuse.
Unfortunately, much like Betamax, Carolina never stood a chance. They were down 16 at halftime and ended up losing by 23. To make matters worse, the Wisconsin team that crushed them got run off the court by Baylor.
I’m sure Dad had good intentions when he picked Carolina to make a deep run just like he did when he bought our family’s Betamax player. But, take it from a kid who had to pick out videos from the Beta section growing up... the selection sucked.
(I’d like to give a shot out to Jeff and myself for our absurd pick of #11 Drake to make the Sweet 16 and my selection of #2 Iowa to lose in the first round - in my defense, I just picked the wrong #2 seeded Big 10 team to lose in the first round - for being worthy of consideration for this award. We’re the honorary Betamax of the Betamax award.)
The Easter Bunny Isn’t Real Award for child disillusionment: Haley (Halestorm Lit AF Fam)
I convinced Haley to fill out her first NCAA bracket this year. I get the feeling she might not ever fill one out again.
Using sound and rational logic - something I’m sure my Dad and Keith wish they’d paid attention to - Haley picked only one upset in the entire tournament. One.
#2 seed Ohio State to “upset” #1 seed Baylor in the South regional finals.
Haley’s dream of a title in her first ever Jimmy lasted until about 3 PM PST on Friday as Ohio State lost the fourth game of the NCAA tournament to #15 seed Oral Roberts.
She may never watch sports again.
The West Coast Bias Award for fan that clearly grew up cheering for the Hawaii Rainbow Warriors: Dave (Dave’s Dazzling Bracket)
We all have inherent biases that influence our selections. My Dad graduated from the University of Iowa, which caused him to disregard a lifetime of black and gold NCAA disappointment and pick the Hawkeyes to win the tournament. Jeff’s grandmother is from West Virginia, which led to him picking the Mountaineers to make the Final Four.
Dave’s bracket, with the #12 seed UCSB Gauchos and #11 seed Utah State Aggies in the Sweet 16, two teams that historically played tough against the Bows during our formative early fandom, has “mid-90’s to early 2000’s Hawaii basketball fan” written all over it.
When I asked Dave about his picks he said “I don’t understand. Utah St was good 20 years ago. Why wouldn't they be good now?”, a question I frequently ponder about my own athletic ability whenever I try to do pull-ups now that I’m forty.
The Mitch & Jordan Memorial Award for contestant that enters the tournament, but forgets to fill out their entire bracket: No one!
In 2008, my Dad forgot to fill out his Final Four picks, which earned him the glorious distinction of having an award named in his honor. This continued until 2010 when my brother Jordan submitted a completely empty bracket, earning his place alongside my Dad in Jimmy history.
While no one earned the right to have their name etched in glory alongside past tournament heroes this year, Mitch and Jordan's legacy lives on.
The Rashidi Yekini Award for player whose name will cause him to foster an otherwise irrational affection from my Dad: Ayo Dosunmu.
(Background: In 1994, Rashidi Yekini led the Nigerian Super Eagles to a miracle run to the Round of 16 in that year’s World Cup. Fueled in part by their up tempo playing style and the excitement of an African team excelling on the world stage, but mostly by the fact that my Dad really, really, really loved the name Rashidi Yekini, my Dad became a huge Nigerian soccer fan. Without fail, anytime a player has come along with a modicum of skill and a name to match, they become my Dad’s favorite player.)
This was the easiest award of the tournament.
Ayo has so many things going for him in addition to having the tournament’s coolest name. He has NBA level athleticism, ball handling and passing skill; he leads a high flying Illini attack, that was poised to make a deep tournament run as a number one seed; not to mention, he grew up in Chicago, Illinois, just like my Dad.
Sadly, Dosunmu’s tournament run ended in the second round to in-state rival Loyola Chicago (well, sad for anyone who didn’t pick the Rambler’s to go to the Final Four. *ahem*) also ending my Dad’s chance to root for him and my chance to make “Dosunmu, I’ve come to bargain” jokes. Thankfully, Dosunmu appears likely to be a high NBA draft pick and should have a long career in the NBA, so there’s plenty of time for my Dad to enjoy his new favorite non-familial human.
(A Google search of “Dosunmu, I’ve come to bargain” yields only two results: a message board post and a reddit comment. Come on, internet. You’re better than that. That joke is solid gold.)
The I’m Not Coming to the Reunion Award for member who displayed the least amount of school spirit: Jason (Fiery Owls of Death) for picking his Georgetown Hoyas to lose in the first round.
Dad picked the Hawkeys to win the National Title.
Hayes picked the #11 seeded UCLA Bruins to upset BYU in the first round.
Shaun at least picked his #5 seeded Colorado Buffaloes to beat Georgetown before bowing out in the second round.
Meanwhile, Jason not only picked his beloved Georgetown Hoyas to lose their first round game to Colorado shortly after sending the message “Go, Hoyas!” to the group chat, he also sent out this photo when it became clear that he needed the Florida State Seminoles to knock off #1 seed Michigan in the Sweet 16 for him to beat our younger brother, Jordan.
Fun fact: Jason learned that the Florida State mascot was the Seminoles shortly after taking that photo. I give it even odds that he learned the Georgetown mascot was the Hoyas after filling out his bracket this year.
The Shaun Holaday Memorial Award for bracket with the best chance to win that has no business winning: Nicholas Stamp Miller (Nicholas Stamp Miller)
In
2008, Shaun won the tournament despite picking the least number of
games correctly, because he was the
only contestant who picked Kansas to win the title and the
weighted scoring system gives an overwhelmingly unfair number of points
for picking the National Champion. (On a related note, no, I'm not
still bitter that I finished third despite picking the most number of
correct games. Moving on...)
This year, despite picking less first round games correctly than all but two people and only identifying seven Sweet 16 teams correctly, Nick is alive in the Jimmy for one (and only one) reason: he picked Baylor to cut down the nets. As long as the #8 Loyola Chicago Ramblers don't make the Final Four (unlikely) and Alabama doesn't make the title game (also doubtful), Nick's fate lays solely in the hands of the Baylor Bears. Which would make him an equally unlikely (and undeserving) champion.
(On a related note, I lied about not still being bitter.)
The Drew Timme Award for looking the best in a photo with a digitally enhanced handlebar mustache: Jeff (Jeffery’s Super Bracket)
When Jason sent me the text message “On another note, the Zags have a very prominent handlebar mustache that I am trying to determine the seriousness of.”, did I immediately do a Google deep dive on Timme’s mustache and mustache celebration and then download a digital image editor to see what every member of our league would look like with a digitally enhanced handle bar mustache?
Why, yes. Yes, I did.
Did I follow up on that work by ranking how everyone looked with their digitally enhanced mustache on a purely subjective and absurd scale, thereby losing two hours of my life that I’ll never get back?
Again, yes.
Do I regret any of this time?
Not for a second.
So... without further ado, here are the rankings in reverse order:
#11: Dad: My entire life, Dad has not had facial hair. Now we know why.
#10 Me: My young brother Jordan asked me recently "Are we sure that you're not running QAnon?"
#9 Shaun: He looks like a method actor that took a bit part in a Western way too seriously.
#8 Keith: If you need to buy opium in South East Asia, Keith knows a guy.
#7 Haley: Honestly... not nearly as bad as you'd expect. She seems wise.
#6 Nick: Dead ringer for Buford Tannen in Back 2 the Future 3.
#5 Jason: If Gordon from Sesame Street was white.
#4 Dave: If you told me this was from a promo shoot for a new radio program called 'Coach Dave and the Deuce' I would believe you (and tune in to the first episode)
Remaining Game(s) that everyone is watching: Florida State vs. Michigan, Syracuse vs. Houston, Gonzaga vs. Anyone, Baylor vs. Anyone
This is a more complicated second half of the Jimmy than I can ever remember. Only two people (Nick - Baylor and myself - Alabama) have a clear path to the title due to their championship pick. Seven of the eleven Jimmy participants have Gonzaga winning the title, but, differences in their brackets mean that four of them: Dave, Jason, Jordan and Shaun all still have a path to a title with a complicated maze of scenarios.
If Florida State upsets Michigan, then Jason knocks Jordan out of the running. But, he still needs Baylor to lose before the title game, otherwise, he loses to Dave.
Similarly, Dave needs Houston to figure out Syracuse's zone defense, otherwise he opens the door for Shaun to win.
Meanwhile, Jordan needs a Michigan win vs. Florida State followed by an Alabama win and a Baylor loss before the championship game in a scenario that's starting to be so specific it makes my head hurt.
There's also an incredibly bizarre scenario where Loyola-Chicago wins the National Title and Shaun and I share the Jimmy Championship which is so unlikely that it is bound to happen because that's just how silly life has been the last year.
No matter what happens, we have an exciting end to the tournament and competitive finish in store for the Jimmy.
How will it all play out?
We'll have to wait and see.
Which is to say, I'm destined to lose in crushing fashion due to a short Chris Webber-esque half court shot off the front of the rim, but, but hey: at this point, I'm used to it.
Good luck in the second half, everyone!
