Game. Set. Match.

This series is over. Done. Finished. Put it in the books. Lakers in 5 (and that's being generous).

The Lakers dictated every facet of Game 1. They got easy baskets whenever they wanted, completely controlled the glass, and turned the Celtics into a completely one-dimensional jump shooting team on offense. The Lakers dominated so thoroughly that Phil Jackson switched to Belichick-mode in the fourth quarter and went to a completely vanilla game plan. It tells you everything you need to know about this game that the Celtics never made a run. You have to play defense to make a run.

In 2008, the Celtics exploited three distinct advantages:

1. They dominated the boards (255-223).
2. They dominated from behind the arc (43%-34%)
3. They never gave up easy baskets

In 2010, none of those advantages apply. Bolstered by a healthy Andrew Bynum, the Lakers controlled the offensive (12-8) and defensive (30-23) glass; The Celtics sorely miss sharp shooters James Posey and Eddie House, leaving Ray Allen and Paul Pierce as the only long distance threats; And, finally, and perhaps most importantly, whether it's because Phil Jackon, Kobe Bryant and the Lakers figured out a way to dissect the Celtics defense with a quick interior passing game or because the Celtics miss the defensive presence of PJ Brown, Leon Powe, and a Kevin Garnett with healthy knees, the Lakers ran a layup drill on the Celtics.

Now, maybe Kevin Garnett's knees will feel better after the three day layoff. Maybe Ray Allen can avoid foul trouble and lock down Kobe. Maybe Rajon Rondo can find a hole in the impenetrable wall of Gasol, Odom, and Bynum. Maybe Paul Pierce will figure out a way to shake Ron Artest and get to the free throw line.

But that's a lot of maybes. Plus, Phil Jackson teams are 47-0 after winning the first game in a series. That doesn't leave a lot of room for maybes.

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Random Game 1 musings:


I'm a big fan of Pau Gasol's either-I-strongly-disagree-with-that-foul-call-or-I-just-smelled-a-bad-fart face.


Derek Fisher has a really sweet beard. That is all.


Jeff Van Gundy is usually a fantastic commentator. Witty. Insightful. Entertaining. But, I think he was hanging out with Snoop Dogg (in attendance. I'm just saying...) before the start of Game 1. Jeff started things off by suggesting the big difference between the 2008 and 2010 Celtics was that Tony Allen (2010 sixth man) is a slasher, not a shooter like James Posey (2008 sixth man), which, while true, ranks somewhere between the size of Kendrick Perkins chin beard and the color of Paul Pierce's headband on the list of important differences between the '08 and '10 Celtics. He followed that nugget of wisdom with these three gems:

* "You need enough quickness on the floor to guard Shannon Brown". (Because, as we all know, the key to stopping the Lakers is containing Shannon Brown...)
* "I'm taking Nate Robinson on this jump ball [vs. Pau Gasol]". (I'll let you guess whether the 7-foot Gasol beat the 5-11 Robinson.)
* "USA is beating England [in the World Cup]". (There go our chances...)

Of course, just when I was trying to catch Van Gundy taking sips from a flask between plays, he came on at half time and said, "The Lakers had 28 points in the paint in the first half. That never happened in '08". Happy to have you back, Jeff.


At the start of halftime, Stuart Scott asked the commentators, "What did we learn from the first half"? Magic Johnson jumped in and said, "This will be long, great series". Either he was watching a replay of the '85 Lakers/Celtics series or he was hanging out with Snoop and Van Gundy before the game.


Jordan Farmar and Shannon Brown had back to back layups in the first half. I'm not saying that wouldn't have happened against the '08 Celtics, well, actually, that's exactly what I'm saying.


Kendrick Perkins stole the ball from Kobe Bryant to start a fast break and, rather than exploit a three on one situation, Nate Robinson jacked up an ill-advised three. I'm not saying that the '08 Celtics would have never taken such a horrible shot, well, actually, that's exactly what I'm saying.


I still don't understand how a player of Rajon Rondo's height (6 foot 1 in heels) can rebound so well. He led a fast break attempt where he got two rebounds on the same play (rebounded an initial miss then rebounded his own miss before getting fouled). When he learns how to knock down a three pointer and hit his free throws, look out NBA.


On the subject of Rondo, have you seen the size of his hands? They deserve their own area code. Maybe that's why he rebounds so well...


When ABC panned the crowd to show the celebrities at the game they listed all their names: Adam Sandler. Chris Rock. Will Ferrell. Leonardo DiCaprio. Steven Spielberg. Jack. Not Jack Nicholson. Just "Jack". Yet again proving that Jack Nicholson is the coolest man alive.

I thought about this again at halftime when Stuart Scott said of Kobe Bryant, "He goes by one name: Kobe". The ability to be referenced by a single moniker is a true sign of greatness. Kobe. Shaq. LeBron. Magic. Bird. Even in non-sports related arenas: Washington. Lincoln. Kennedy. You haven't truly arrived until you can pass the one name test. (Maybe the Brazilians are smarter than we give them credit for.)

Taking that a step further, the true pantheon of name recognition is when you can be singularly recognized by either your first or last name. I could only come up with two people who fit this criterion: Jack Nicholson, equally recognizable as "Jack" or "Nicholson", and Michael Jordan, who is instantly identifiable by "Michael" or "Jordan".

Any measure of greatness that comes up with Jack Nicholson and Michael Jordan sounds like a keeper to me.


Chris Rock doesn't look a day over 21. I need to know what moisturizer he's using.


I'm only half joking when I say that the Lakers had more easy baskets in the first half than they did in the entire 2008 NBA Finals.


The Lakers pianist played Bad Romance by Lady Gaga coming out of a timeout. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing, I just thought you needed to know.


My favorite moment of the game was when Kobe was walking into the locker room at halftime and broke into a big goofy grin as soon he saw his two baby girls. It was a total Daddy smile.


My second favorite moment of the game was when Kobe nailed the "Taco Shot" at the end of the game. In case you didn't know, when the Lakers win, score at least 100 points and hold their opponents under 100, everyone at the Staples Center gets a coupon for two free tacos from Jack in the Box. On the game's final possession, the Lakers led 99-89 and needed one more basket to secure crispy deliciousness for the crowd. The shot clock and game clock were nearly identical so LA didn't really need to take a final shot, but you could see Kobe realize the magnitude of the situation, convince Fisher to give up the ball, and calmly drain a three to put the icing on the Lakers dominant victory.

That, my friends, is the game behind the game. (Not to mention, the type of stunning insight found only at the JBorhood: your source for fast-food related sports humor.)


Have a great weekend, everyone.