We're Going to Disney World!

We're going to Disney World!

You, me and our closest 658 friends.

(In case you were wondering, that was the Hawaii State Board of Education's answer to the question, "You've just found out that you have to cut one million dollars from your budget, what are you going to do?")

In a decision that can only be described as mind bogglingly stupid (I swear, it's the ONLY way to describe it. Nothing else would suffice. Take that hyperbole to the bank.), the BOE decided to deal with a budget deficit by cutting the budget of High School sports by nearly 10%. Then, since one bad decision deserves another (otherwise they get lonely), they decided to address the budget reduction by cutting JV sports completely. For sake of argument, I'll overlook the fact that studies have linked physical activity to improved brain function. I'll kindly glaze over the studies showing that kids in organized school activities are far less likely to do drugs or commit a crime. What I refuse to ignore is the Board of Education sending 680 people on a paid vacation to Disney World, in a year when they need to make 10 million dollars in budget cuts.

Yes. That's right. The Board of Education sent 680 people to Orlando, Florida and justified it as a business trip to check out a model school.

I'm sure there's a model school in Orlando. I'll take it on good faith that all 680 people visited the school and learned valuable educational lessons that they have since applied to their own school district in Hawaii. But the thing I can't possibly understand is why they sent 680 people to do a job that could have easily been done by five.

My first thought was that they wanted to send someone from every school in Hawaii to visit the model school. That sounds quasi-logical, right?

Except, of course, for the fact that there are only 280 schools in Hawaii. That means the BOE sent approximately two and a half people from every school on the island to do a job they could have accomplished by paying for the principal of the model school to come visit. Hell, they could have paid for the entire school administration and all the teachers to fly to Hawaii and still have spent less then they did to ship everyone off to the third Happiest Place on Earth. (The second being Disney Land and the first, of course, being my pants. Sorry, that joke sounded better in my head.)

The whole debacle reminds me of the Bud Light Commercial where the guys don't have enough money to pay for their groceries and have to decide between beer or toilet paper, only instead of beer they chose cocaine and instead of toilet paper they gave up their child's future and instead of making you laugh it made you want to bang your head into a wall and sob.

(Author's Note: For the most part, I try to maintain a fair measure of journalistic integrity here in the JBorhood. That said, the goal is to inform AND entertain, so I opted for a more sensational approach to this story. In truth, the story deserves a more gentle touch and a fair amount of research. In the interest of fairness, I will learn more about the trip to Orlando as well as the Department of Education's budget so that I can provide more substantive feedback on the story. In the mean time, can you believe they sent 680 people to Orlando????!?!?!?!?!?!?!!)

Wait a second...Colt Breannan is Awesome? Get out of town...

I hate to say I told you so (Actually, nothing could be further from the truth. I love being right and I love letting everybody know about it, but humility seems to be all the rage these days, so I'll play along.), but Colt Brennan is an amazing Quarterback. In his debut for the Redskins, Colt went 9/10 for 123 yards and 2 touchdowns, completed passes of 20, 26 and 34 yards, and scrambled out of the pocket on a play when his protection broke down, strung the play along for about 10 seconds before finding an open man in the end zone. Vintage Colt.

Meanwhile, Joe Flacco went 0/3 for 0 yards and 2 sacks in his debut and began updating his resume. Don't worry, Joe. Frank's House of Pancakes will always be there for you.

(Author's Note: Browse to Google.com, enter Flacco "House of Pancakes" into the search box and click "I Feel Lucky". The JBorhood: The definitive source for information regarding Joe Flacco and the House of Pancakes. I couldn't be more proud.)

Paris Hilton for President? That's Hot.

I usually refrain from commenting about anything remotely involving Paris Hilton. I'm not a fan of shooting fish in a barrel and it's far too easy to poke fun at a spoiled debutante, whose claim to fame is enormous wealth and a sex tape. That said, I'd like to give a JBorhood tip-of-the-cap to Paris for her video retaliation of John McCain's attack add, which negatively compared Barack Obama to Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton. Not only does Paris manage to laugh at herself in the video, she presents a forward thinking, coherent Energy plan and tops it off with "I'll see you at the debate...bitches."

Bravo, Paris. Bravo.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die